Sights, Sounds, Smells

Flickers of memories in my eyes

The smells, the sounds, the feels

Oh, if only I could bring them back for a minute, an hour, a day

My grandpa shouting "Get Outta My Chair!"

Sending us screaming

Being a father of young children and having the gym getaway

The pool and the hot tub restoring sanity

Being a father of young children and rocking them to sleep

Making my brain a garden

Feeling that little body relax

That's a poem in itself

The voices I'll never hear again but can't forget

The smell of lunch in the basement at Golda Meir

The ceiling shaking at the library there when basketballs bounced above

Life

 It's been over a month since I've written, basically since school got out. What an eventful month! Naomi's currently at Girl Scout camp and Levi's just in summer school and kids camp. Summer School drops out after this week, so the routine will change yet again. No school bus to catch in the morning, so it becomes slightly less frantic.

I've noticed lately that I have a hard time relaxing. I think I'm too online during work and searching out bad news. Yes, doomscrolling. I'm trying to cut down on that and just let myself breathe. There are no threats. There's no reason to really be nervous about anything.

Part of it, I think, is that I get very few chances now to spread out and be alone. Sarah's home ALL THE TIME. It's been ten months now. I'm not angry about it, it is what it is. But I would just like to come home and just relax by myself. Last night I was with Naomi for over three hours, which was fine, but she was defiant about changing her clothes, so I got upset at everyone, pretty much.

Levi and Naomi both enjoyed their time at the lake immensely. Both tubed and found buddies to hang out with. Cruz and Quincy and Levi were inseparable, and Naomi and Sienna were friendly. Violet also wanted to hang out with Naomi as usual.

Maybe I'll plan another solo baseball trip in September, or a trip to Chicago. I just really need the separation. It's great that the basement is looking more normal, but I just need to be alone and not "working-alone".

OOTP: 

The AAB rolls along. This week the 1980s will be done. Wisconsin just won its first title and looks to be perennial contenders. 

I'm also managing the 1956 Cubs, or the 1956 Cubs as OOTP history has them. It's an interesting team. They finished 81-73 for the past two seasons. Can we improve on that?

School's Out 2026

In about 10 minutes, the 2025-26 school year will be over for Levi and Naomi. I'm trying not to get too worked up about it, but these days are milestones. No more third and first grade. No more Mrs. Gaedtke and Mrs. Kim. Nine months of school are over, and you have changed, as we have.

I'm so proud of our children, even as they drive us kind of crazy. Forget a tornado or a bomb going off. The house is wrecked very quickly when the two of them are around, and they're about to be around a lot more. I seem to be the one they gravitate to, as I play way more physically than Sarah will. I should edit that sentence to say that I am the one that plays full stop. But I'm getting off track. 

Levi is still peppering me with hypotheticals and math questions, as a nine year old will. Does he remind me of myself at his age? Not really. I'm sure he talks a lot more in school. I still marvel at his speed and I still get annoyed by his propensity to lose it and cry when he doesn't get what he wants. But he's also a good person to talk to one-on-one, and I love playing catch with the football in the backyard. He might not want to do organized sports, but he does like tossing a ball around with me.

Naomi is finally nearly almost completely toilet trained after all this time. She also really likes her Poms class now and is taking Tae Kwon Do. She's still immature in places (regresses to a baby attitude) but is also extremely funny and loves to snuggle. She's also doing just fine in school.

Solo Trip

Mitchell airport

Early Friday morning

At the gate

Watching a young family and smiling

I'm not traveling with kids

I'm all alone for this trip

To see the sights in Cleveland

My stomach flutters

Can I do this by myself?

Of course

Of course I can

I'm forty-six

But admittedly used to being surrounded

Surrounded by my family

Naomi eager to snuggle

Levi keen on playing a game

I smile as I think how strange it is

48 hours without them

Without their constant need of attention

Without hearing them bicker and whine

And also

Not needing to care for them at the airport

Levi cramming his tablet into his backpack before boarding

A few deep breaths 

It's not like I'm hyperventilating

Just getting used to the idea that I can do what I want

In a few minutes I'll hear the ultimate permission

Relax and enjoy your flight

Washington Nationals vs Cleveland Guardians

Guardians hold on to beat Nationals 3-2.

Forgot to switch from Nats to Guardians broadcast, but Nats broadcast a breezy listen.

Box score:

MLB Gameday: Nationals 2, Guardians 3 Final Score (05/27/2026)

RLS 5-26-26

 5.26.26
RLS 45 Mins
until 3:10 pm

Alfie's Theme Differently (1) +
The Stone Interlude
All The Way (2)
Everybody's Changing -
You Never Give Me Your Money -
Stumble And Pain
Anthony
Swahililand (3) (OK) -
What You Need
Boris The Spider
Cuckoo Cocoon
Driven To Tears
Scrapple from the Apple (4) +
A Night In Tunisia (5) -
Pale Shelter

1- Sonny Rollins (tribute) 
2- Sinatra
3- Ahmad Jamal
4- Charlie Parker
5- Dizzy Gillespie
- can be left off future installments

Thoughts- many jazz debuts and kind of misc tracks from various artists, so this one wasn't a great hour.

RLS 5-19-26

 RLS

5.19.26

1:25-2:10

Entire Catalog
Rise Again
Shadows In The Rain
Alone Again Or
Please Forgive Me*
A Gal In Calico (1)
Anthony
Second Hand News (delete)

Random Pool Playlist
It Happened In Monterrey
Downtown Lights
Roll Me Mama
Allentown

Mother's Day Brewer Game

What a Brewer game on Mother's Day!

Bolgert tailgate was a great time. Here's the box score from the game. Turang walks it off and I wasn't paying full attention. Second walk off I've seen in the past year, although the one in Cleveland was a walk-off HBP.

MLB Gameday: Yankees 3, Brewers 4 Final Score (05/10/2026)

RLS 5-7-26

Pharaohs
Ants
Love & Blessings
Love Is Eternal Sacred Light
Gold Dust Woman
You Promised Me
Caught A Long Wind
High Wire
Lights Away From Home
My Groove Your Move
I Know What I Like
Grandma's Hands

RLS 5-6-26

 RLS
5.6.26

50 mins

Too Much (Elvis)
Circus On The Moon
Secret Separation
Take Five
Mi Viejo (1)
House of Blue Light
J'y Suis Jamais Alle
Born And Raised Reprise
Fortress
Long Tall Cool One
In Ohio
Mutineers
Timshel
Heart And Soul

1-Dominic Miller

RLS 5-5-26

 RLS
Tues 5.5.26
45 mins

#41
Gratte Poil
(Me And Sarah Jane)
Everybody Wants You (To Emerge)
Ain't Misbehavin' (1) +
Is There Something I Should Know
Can't Explain*
Raven
I'm Not Moving
Satellite (Spoon)
This Too Shall Pass

*Weird, because I was thinking of this song to lead off
1- Django Reinhardt

Ex Machina and The Worst Person In The World

 Sarah was out of town this weekend, so I watched two movies. The first, Ex Machina, is a sci-fi/suspense film starring Oscar Isaac, Domhnall Gleeson, and Alicia Vikander. Isaac plays Nathan, the head of an AI company. Gleeson plays Caleb, a coder who wins an invitation to join Nathan at his laboratory. Caleb and Nathan are to test out Nathan's latest AI creation, Ava. 

Nathan has an unsettling demeanor at times, and Caleb begins to suspect that Ava, who he has kind of fallen for, will be retired and no longer exist. Turns out the test is to see if Ava will use Caleb to try to escape, which she does. The film asks questions about AI and the viewer is put in the difficult position of rooting for Ava when in fact she might lead to humans' extinction. In the end, Ava does escape, thanks to both Caleb and Nathan's carelessness. 

I thought Ex Machina was unnerving at times and very engrossing. Isaac plays the part of the enigmatic villain very well. Gleeson alternates between flummoxed and conniving, and Vikander effectively portrays a not-quite-human humanity in trying to manipulate both of them into getting what she wants.

Te

RLS 5-4-26

 RLS
5.4.26
2:15-3:00

Are You Serious
View To A Kill (Duran Duran) +
Passion And Compassion (Open Sky Unit) +
Low Life
Think I'm In Love
(Dodo/Lurker)
Long Way Home
Butterfly (Snail Mail)
The Duke
Henry Nearly Killed Me
Shadow Days

Randomly 4-28-26

 4.28.26
LJ

Breathe (Murdoch) 
Can't Stop Thinking About You
Innocent Man
Can't Give You Anything But Love
Shenandoah Valley
Laid So Low
Graceland
All This Time (Jones)
Square One
The Duke + (1)
Que Pasa
(Typical Situation)
->West Side
Santo Domingo -
Straight To My Heart

Notes:
(1) Miles Davis

Overall: OK set of songs. The Duke is a good song, probably deleting Santo Domingo. 

Randomly 4.27.26

4.27.26
Randomly
AM 60

1. Cast Your Fate
2. Roxanne (Aswad)
3. Sometimes
4. 1234
5. Paper In Fire
6. Brother Mister
7. Oh Lady Be Good (Basie)+
8. Best Of Luck -
9. Electric Feel
10. She Treats Me Well
11. Rise Again
12. Set Them Free
13. Love On The Weekend
14. (Captain)
15. Man On The Corner

+ means liked the song/version
- means don't love it, might delete

All songs will be deleted from the pool after the playlist.

Overall feeling from songs played: Good mix of songs, good mix of instrumental vs vocal.

Why Am I Doing Randomly?

I've done random listenings many times over the years. I tend to stop after two or three times because it strikes me as kind of ridiculous, but this time I'm looking at it differently. How many songs do I have that I never even listen to? So it's more of a listening journal this time. Maybe I get some ideas for future playlists.

Randomly 4-24-26

 Randomly
4.24.26

Ice Storming
Between The Devil And The Deep Blue Sea (1)
Strong Enough
Save Part of Yourself
Open Heart (2)
(Two Step)
World Turning
But It's Alright
First Caress
Return To Innocence
Check It Out
Raoul And The Kings
Happy With You (seemed good to end with this one)


(1) Thelonious Monk- only listened to once. Can delete
(2) Dominic Miller- keep. Longer than I thought, but meditative. Would be good on chill out playlist.

Randomly

 4.23.26
Randomly
2:30-3:30

Love & Peace
Digging A Ditch
You're All I've Got
Summer In The City
Call Me (When You Get To Heaven)
DDTW Interlude
Milestones
(Willkommen)
Heart of Life
Oh Lady Be Good (Weeds)
Half of My Heart

Today's Ballgame- St Louis 5, Cleveland 3

 

CLE: Manzardo- RBI single 1st inning (1-0)

CLE: Cecconi gets out of jam in 1st.

STL: Pages RBI single 2nd inning (1-1)

CLE: Manzardo thrown out at home in 4th

STL: Wetherholt sac fly (1-2) in 6th

STL: Burleson 2 run single 6th (1-4)

CLE: Naylor 2 run double (3-4)

STL: Church RBI double (3-5)

MLB Gameday: Guardians 3, Cardinals 5 Final Score (04/15/2026)

Emma

 

She was honestly my first love

Before all the others

The one who made me want to love

And it wasn’t even romantic

Next door neighbors for seven months

We had the same temperament

Rolling our eyes at crazy Jenny

I spent every single evening at her apartment

“Matt, tu peux venir” she’d say after she finished dinner

Come on over

It might have looked romantic

We walked through town together

Went grocery shopping

I went down to the pay phone with her

She talked to her boyfriend

At the end she said “Je t’aime”

I loved her too.